Jami86e's Revelife

Some thoughts on kissing

Sat, 12 Jul 2008 05:25:33 GMT

When I was 14 I made the decision to wait until I was married to have sex. I never thought there was anything wrong with kissing someone you're not married too. I still don't think there's anything wrong with it. I just discovered Datingish and I read a lot of the comments on the posts Waiting for sex and Pucker up...later?. I was very pleasantly surprised at how many other people are waiting until they are married to have sex, but it was strange to see how many people are actually waiting until they are married to even kiss someone! I had heard of this before, but I thought it was nuts. I think kissing is a way to show someone you care about them and I don't know how you can really know how you feel about them until you kiss them, but I may be wrong on the latter, I don't think I have enough kissing experience to know. I've kissed less than a handful of guys, but the guys I kissed, it was because I cared about them more than anyone else I knew at the time. I'm very picky and if I kiss someone the guy would have to know I care about him. Anyway, after hearing a couple years ago about someone wanting to wait to kiss until they were married, I had thought about that, and thought of reasons why I would be okay with that, but I haven't even had a chance to kiss anyone in so long, there was no reason for me to decide one way or another. I figured if God didn't want me to kiss someone until I was married He would place it on the guy's heart and I wouldn't even have to suggest it. if he brought it up I would be okay with it, but if he wanted to kiss I would be okay with that too.

After reading these posts it made me think about this a lot further. I still haven't made a final decision. I know that the next time I date someone I want to wait to kiss, but until when I don't know. I definitely don't want to wait until I'm married, because I wouldn't want my first kiss with my husband to be in front of a bunch of spectators. That would be weird and make it hard for me to enjoy. However, I do think I want to wait until I'm engaged, maybe even the night before the wedding. And, in fact, writing this, I have made that my final decision...I think. The problem is, how would you bring that up to someone you're dating or about to date? I'd be woprried that he would think my not wanting to kiss means I don't like him. But I see it as I care about him so much that I don't want to do anything to jeopardize our relationship. For one, I'm not in contact with any of the guys I've kissed, because they don't want anything to do with me (and I know it's not because they thought I was a bad kisser lol). It could just be because they are jerks, but still. Also, it's a lot easier to not have to worry about having to control yourself or going too far if you're not kissing. Fortunately I have never been in a 'heat of the moment' decision where I had to decide whether or not to control myself, but I imagine it's a lot easier to go too far if you're kissing than if you're just sitting together watching TV or talking, etc. I can't see God allowing me to stay in a relationship with someone I would break those morals for. If I don't wind up marrying the guy, there's no reason for me to be upset I didn't kiss him. If I do, then we can make up for lost time .

And, again, I don't think there's anything wrong with kissing someone you care about before you're married, it's just a personal choice I've made.

EDIT: I think I've already changed my mind about waiting haha. I'm sure I'll be up and back about this lol. But I really don't think I would feel like I was in a relationship if there was no kissing. I dunno gah.

Letter from Yeshua (Jesus)

Tue, 03 Jun 2008 19:55:08 GMT

I saw this a while ago and it was great, although I'm not sure where it originated. I haven't been on a date in over seven years (I'm 23), so it's nice to re-read it every now and again. Also, if you're a single girl, I recommend reading the book Do You Think I'm Beautiful? It's great.

My Dearest Daughter,

I see your loneliness and fear. I know your hurt and your heartaches. In a special bottle I am storing each and every one of your tears. I see you searching for love, for happiness, for fulfillment. As much as I hate to see your pain, as much as it grieves me to see you struggle, all this must be, in order for you to totally and completely come to the end of your own understanding: only then can you fully hear my voice. Listen very carefully. Amidst the noise of the world, I'm calling. My voice is in the midst of your worst fears tenderly beseeching you to trust me, in the pain of your loneliness. If you hold real still, you can feel my arms encircling you and hear my soothing words of comfort. Yes, that still, small voice within you is mine. Yes, that gentle touch is me. Give me your pain- yes, all of it, and I will give you my peace. Give me your sorrow and I will give you joy unspeakable.

I cherish you, Daughter. I shed my blood so that you could be clean. I want you for my companion, my bride, to love and cherish now and throughout eternity and I plan to dress you in the most beautiful of white garments. As you live out the joy and experience the wonder of being my bride, I will be your gentle tutor conforming you to my image. I must begin by teaching you how to serve and live in submission to me. Let me convince you of your great value so that you may be able to fully share the love I have given you with the one you someday choose to bring to me as your earthly husband. Then, and only then, will you be the kind of wife I would choose for him. Give yourself completely to me. I want you to deny me nothing. I will not hurt you. I will not disappoint you. You can trust me- completely. I keep my promises. Do not be overly critical of yourself or become depressed because you are not perfect in your own eyes. It saddens me greatly to hear you criticize and devalue the one I love so much. Daughter, in me, you are complete and lacking in nothing. What right do you have to criticize the one I treasure? On what grounds do you find fault with what I have so fearfully and wonderfully made? Why do you call what I deem beautiful- ugly? Why do you believe that the one I love enough to die for is not good enough? Daughter, I want you to know who you are in me. I mean who you really are in me- completely loved and totally forgiven. I want you to trust me one step, one day, one second at a time. Dwell in My power and My love and be all that you are in me, in My strength, and in My power. Do not fear what might happen or what the future may bring because my grace is sufficient and I will take care of you. Daughter, I know that you long to give yourself to someone, to have a deep relationship with him, and to be loved thoroughly and exclusively by him. But I must say no. Not until my love is enough. Not until you can see yourself truly complete in me. I love you, my child. Until you discover that your joy and satisfaction can be found in me alone, you will not be capable of handling the problems and disappointments that are part of every relationship. You can never be truly united with another in the way your heart desires, only I can fill that emptiness, only I can supply that need, only I can love you enough. You must be united with me, exclusive of anyone or anything else, exclusive of any other desires or longings before you will have the strength to endure the many heart-aches and, yes, even soul-aches of even a seemingly perfect human relationship. I want you to stop planning, stop wishing, and allow me to give you my faithfulness, my gentleness, and my self-control. Then, you will need no other. Daughter, I want you to allow me to be enough.

You must keep your eyes on me, expecting the greatest and the best things from me. Keep experiencing the satisfaction of knowing that I am and that you are my child. Keep learning and listening to the things I tell you. Stay close by my side. Seek my face in the morning, my presence throughout the day, and my comfort at night. I am always there, Daughter. I will never leave you or forsake you. But, you must wait. Don't be anxious. Do not get in a hurry. Don't look around and fear or envy the things others have received from me. You must keep from looking off or away. Look up to me or you'll miss the things I want to show you, and then, when you are ready, I'll give you the desires I have put in your heart, the strength to endure all things, and the courage to risk your heart.

You see, until you are ready and the one I have for you is ready… I am working even this minute to have you both ready at the same time… until you are both living to, which you will, however imperfectly, reflect your relationship in me. First give me time to heal your wounds, console your heartaches, and ease your disappointments. Find me time to erase the painful memories of the past. Give me time to heal you and make you whole and complete in me.

I want you to experience real "agape" love- not the selfish, false love of the world. I want you to learn love that is patient and always kind. Love that knows no envy and is never boastful or proud. Love that is never rude or self-seeking. Love that is not easily angered or keeps a record of wrong. Love that does not delight in evil but instead rejoices in truth. The love I want for you Daughter, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres, never fails. Because this love is of the spirit and not of the flesh, its natural fruit is joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. I cannot give this love to you in or even through another except dimly, and then only in a limited capacity- for all will fail and eventually disappoint you. This perfect love, Daughter, can only be found in me.

Let my perfect love flow from you and spill over to all you touch. Be not concerned with yourself; you are my responsibility. I will change you often without you even knowing it. Take your eyes off yourself, look only to me, I lead, I change, I create, but only when you are not striving. You are mine; let me have the joy of making you into my image- only I can do this. Above all else, look to me and me only, never to yourself and never to others. Do not struggle, relax and trust my love. I know what is best and will do it in and through you if you'll let me. Stop trying to become, and let me transform you from within. I love you Daughter. Will you let my love be enough for you? I'm waiting… will you wait too?

Yeshua

Get the "devil" out of your life

Thu, 29 May 2008 05:35:51 GMT

The Tampa Bay Devil Rays are notorious for losing. They've been a team since 1998 and have ended the season in last place in their division every year, except for 2004 when they were 2nd to last. In their 11th season they have changed their name to "The Tampa Bay Rays" and are currently tied for the best record in all of Major League Baseball. Let The Rays be an example to us all: Get the devil out of your life and do a 180!

Sex Sells

Tue, 27 May 2008 02:25:10 GMT

Amp Energy Drink has a new series of commercials that feature people who have just had a one night stand. They feel but but they get through the day by drinking Amp, as they sing the song "I will not be ashamed."

Am I the only one who thinks this is disgusting?

Faith in The Cubs and Faith in God

Thu, 22 May 2008 03:38:47 GMT

6/2/07

If you're not from the Northside of Chicago then you don't understand why anyone would support a team that hasn't won The World Series in 99 years. And if you're an atheist, agnostic, etc then you don't understand why anyone would believe in someone we can't see/touch.

Cubs fans are called "the greatest fans in the world" because we stick by The Cubs no matter what. Doesn't matter how long it's been since they've been to The World Series, The Playoffs, or even won a game. 66-96 record in 2006---who cares? They're The Cubs and we love them no matter how many games they don't win. And we always will. The motto of Cubs fans is "We believe." I always see people in the stands holding up posters they made that have The Cubs logo on it and it says "We believe." We believe that the Cubs will win. This year is our year. Next year is our year. Doesn't matter. They're going to win. We know they will. This dry spell can't last forever. So much faith in something that we have no guarantee about.

Yet some of the same people that stick by The Cubs after such a horrible record, completely lose faith in God after one thing in their life goes wrong, whether it's big or small. Start doubting, stop believing. "How can this happen to me? Why would God let this happen to me? There must not be a God or this would not be happening to me." And then that's it. No more faith. Jeremiah 29:11 says "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."Why not believe that? Why believe The Cubs will win and not believe God exists? Why have so much faith in a team that is notorious for losing? Game after game after game and it's still "It's okay, it's only one game. We'll win next time. It'll be okay." But someone gets sick, loses a job, dies, and it's not "It's okay, it's just one thing, it will be okay," it's "I give up on God." What am I missing here?

I promise you, if you are a Cubs fan, like me, you have been let down more times by The Cubs than you have been by God. You don't realise that, because The Cubs losing is part of life and if The Cubs lose, it's just another day. But people don't realise that if life lets you down it's part of life and it is just another day and you shouldn't take it out on God, because life lets everyone down sometimes.

It's okay to believe so strongly that the Cubs will win, but what's the point in having so much faith in something if you don't have any faith in God?

Why can't real life ever end up like it does in the movies?

Thu, 22 May 2008 03:36:06 GMT

About five or six years ago, I saw that someone on my buddy list had up an away message that said "Why can't real life ever end up like it does in the movies?" Now I know him well enough to know that that meant he was having girl problems, but I decided I wanted to answer that question for him anyway, just for the heck of it. I actually had fun writing it and it turned into a long e-mail. It seems so unreal to me that I actually wrote these words, so I look at it every now and again, because I feel like someone else wrote it, and sometimes it is easier to take other peoples' advice than your own, so I benefit from reading it as well. I can't take full credit for it though, since I got stuck a prayed for words, because I wanted to answer the question. So here it is:

Why Can't Life Ever End Up Like It Does In The Movies? (TR)

Why CAN'T real life ever end up like it does in the movies? We have ALL wondered this before. The reason is because real life is non fiction and movies are fiction. Everyone has problems and frustrations and movies were invented so people can take 90 minutes out of their stressful lives and escape into a life where everything ends perfectly, both the viewers and the actors. Because everyone wants their life to be like the movies. PERFECT. We're so busy fixating on how everything on TV and in movies has a happy ending we fail to see the middle of the plot, where the problems are. People die. People overdose. People lose their jobs. But it always ends up exactly the way it is supposed to, and THAT is what makes it PERFECT.

"Everything is okay in the end. If it's not okay, then it's not the end." God is in control. That's all you need to worry about. People are dumb; they make bad choices. You do it, I do it, everybody does it. And choices have consequences. And some of the consequences we see in life are not necessarily consequences of OUR actions, or actions of people close to us, but those of Adam and Eve. People were meant to live forever. In nature's beauty. Naked. But because of that ONE piece of fruit, we have MORE sinning, death, the realization that we are naked and need to wear clothes. Not your fault, not my fault, but other peoples' actions affect us too, whether we have done anything to deserve the consequences or not. Our World Trade Center was bombed. I don't remember doing anything to make my country look like it wanted to be bombed. I didn't go over to Afghanistan and say "Hey, my country is better than yours, why don't you come try to ruin us?" I didn't do that, and I don't think you did either. And because of the choices that we all make, knowing that our actions affect others, we know that there will always be consequences, both positive and negative, and because of the ups and downs in life, and the fact that it is never up 100% of the time, we need to realize that life will never be perfect. What we think is perfect anyway.

But what is perfect? Everything being fine and dandy 100% of the time. Always getting your way. Nothing bad EVER happening to you or anybody else in your life. We all know that doesn't exist, so why do we keep thinking that it's going to be like that? God has given us life. It is a matter of what we choose to do with it. Are we going to sin or are we going to follow God's rules? We are going to sin, because that is human nature. But we have control over HOW MUCH we sin. Hooray for not doing drugs and waiting for marriage to have sex. People have pain and they want to escape. That's why people act. So they can be someone else. But other people find different ways. Unhealthy ways.

When I was in 8th grade, a bunch of my close friends were cutting themselves and trying drugs. And these were people I went to youth group with. People that BROUGHT me there! And it was hurting me to know that they were doing that to themselves. I didn't understand then, and I still don't now.

Gilda Radner said, "It's not what happens in life, but how you handle it." This is a woman who was obese as a child and was made fun of for it. Her father died of cancer when she was young. Later on in life she became bulimic and started sleeping around. She was part of the original cast of Saturday Night Live, so she did cocaine too. She died of Ovarian Cancer in 1989. She didn't handle pain very well until the end of her life.

Movies usually have happy endings. Yes, this is true. But my high school theatre director always said that when we watch a movie or a play, we're coming into the story in the middle of these peoples' lives, and we're leaving in the middle too. She's right. We don't know what happens to them when the movie is over. We just assume that they live happily ever after. Because that's what we WANT to believe. But the truth is, their lives could go way downhill after the movie ends. We don't know. So we shouldn't assume that just because the movie ends well, that their lives end well. My Big Fat Greek Wedding ended happily. They got married, they moved in next door to her parents, they had a kid. Then they had a TV show. It only lasted a few episodes. Maybe they just didn't want to have My Big Fat Greek Divorce. You never know!

EVERYONE has pain it IS just a matter of how you handle it. We don't need drugs, we don't need sex. What we need is God. And that is ALL we need. He will help us get through ANYTHING. We just need to stick with Him and trust in Him. And we WILL get through everything.
Life may not match our definition of perfect, but it matches God's. He gave us life, it is a gift from Him, and that is why it is perfect.

Job 5:17-27 (New International Version)

17 "Blessed is the man whom God corrects;
so do not despise the discipline of the Almighty.

18 For he wounds, but he also binds up;
he injures, but his hands also heal.

19 From six calamities he will rescue you;
in seven no harm will befall you.

20 In famine he will ransom you from death,
and in battle from the stroke of the sword.

21 You will be protected from the lash of the tongue,
and need not fear when destruction comes.

22 You will laugh at destruction and famine,
and need not fear the beasts of the earth.

23 For you will have a covenant with the stones of the field,
and the wild animals will be at peace with you.

24 You will know that your tent is secure;
you will take stock of your property and find nothing missing.

25 You will know that your children will be many,
and your descendants like the grass of the earth.

26 You will come to the grave in full vigor,
like sheaves gathered in season.

27 "We have examined this, and it is true.
So hear it and apply it to yourself."

Thursday, May 22, 2008

Thu, 22 May 2008 03:03:04 GMT

Hi! I've been writing in my Xanga for five plus years now. I decided to make a revelife account for any God related posts. Perhaps they will be appreciated here .