Saturday, 12 July 2008

• Some thoughts on kissing

  When I was 14 I made the decision to wait until I was married to have sex. I never thought there was anything wrong with kissing someone you're not married too. I still don't think there's anything wrong with it. I just discovered Datingish and I read a lot of the comments on the posts Waiting for sex and Pucker up...later?. I was very pleasantly surprised at how many other people are waiting until they are married to have sex, but it was strange to see how many people are actually waiting until they are married to even kiss someone! I had heard of this before, but I thought it was nuts. I think kissing is a way to show someone you care about them and I don't know how you can really know how you feel about them until you kiss them, but I may be wrong on the latter, I don't think I have enough kissing experience to know. I've kissed less than a handful of guys, but the guys I kissed, it was because I cared about them more than anyone else I knew at the time. I'm very picky and if I kiss someone the guy would have to know I care about him. Anyway, after hearing a couple years ago about someone wanting to wait to kiss until they were married, I had thought about that, and thought of reasons why I would be okay with that, but I haven't even had a chance to kiss anyone in so long, there was no reason for me to decide one way or another. I figured if God didn't want me to kiss someone until I was married He would place it on the guy's heart and I wouldn't even have to suggest it. if he brought it up I would be okay with it, but if he wanted to kiss I would be okay with that too.
  
  After reading these posts it made me think about this a lot further. I still haven't made a final decision. I know that the next time I date someone I want to wait to kiss, but until when I don't know. I definitely don't want to wait until I'm married, because I wouldn't want my first kiss with my husband to be in front of a bunch of spectators. That would be weird and make it hard for me to enjoy. However, I do think I want to wait until I'm engaged, maybe even the night before the wedding. And, in fact, writing this, I have made that my final decision...I think. The problem is, how would you bring that up to someone you're dating or about to date? I'd be woprried that he would think my not wanting to kiss means I don't like him. But I see it as I care about him so much that I don't want to do anything to jeopardize our relationship. For one, I'm not in contact with any of the guys I've kissed, because they don't want anything to do with me (and I know it's not because they thought I was a bad kisser lol). It could just be because they are jerks, but still. Also, it's a lot easier to not have to worry about having to control yourself or going too far if you're not kissing. Fortunately I have never been in a 'heat of the moment' decision where I had to decide whether or not to control myself, but I imagine it's a lot easier to go too far if you're kissing than if you're just sitting together watching TV or talking, etc. I can't see God allowing me to stay in a relationship with someone I would break those morals for. If I don't wind up marrying the guy, there's no reason for me to be upset I didn't kiss him. If I do, then we can make up for lost time .
  
  And, again, I don't think there's anything wrong with kissing someone you care about before you're married, it's just a personal choice I've made.
  
  
  
  
  EDIT: I think I've already changed my mind about waiting haha. I'm sure I'll be up and back about this lol. But I really don't think I would feel like I was in a relationship if there was no kissing. I dunno gah.
  

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